The 30 day challenge of 10K steps everyday

“Little drops of water make a mighty ocean” thats what happened with me. I am here, after 30 days, with 253.19 km distance walked(4,02,272 steps), 31399 KCal burned. The urge to do something like this was triggered by a friend(we rarely talk), saying this because challenges can be triggered by self or any random person for that matter. Happy to say that I completed the challenge yesterday, a minimum of 10 K steps for 30 days.
My experience with this challenge:
*Started on 6th Aug 2020, didn’t wait for the start of the month or something like that, which people usually do, procrastination or OCD or something similar.

  • Downloaded a step counter app (Pedometer), started walking each day, the goal usually was 10 K minimum, but I would cross them on random days.
    *Challenges faced were, some days would be so hard, lethargy would creep in, I wouldn’t be mentally in a good mood to do it, some days I would be extremely tired after work, and other days, rain hindered the pace.
    *Nonetheless I didn’t quit, I made sure I somehow completed my quota of 10K. After finishing, it did feel good every single day.
    *Those who are on my whatsapp would know about my daily steps, because I used to post it after completion every single day. Posting on any social media kind of peps one up to not give up and keep going till you complete the challenge.
    *Tip-Chose this challenge because it seemed doable, if one is choosing a tougher challenge, there are chances one might think it’s doable but after a few days(usually 3-4 days) might lose interest in the same. So whenever one is choosing any 30 day challenges , it’s better to choose something simple and doable rather than choosing something difficult and quitting it in the middle.
    *I chose to do the 10 K steps in 3 sessions usually, the early morning walk(2 sessions) and the evening walk. This worked for me.
    *Unfortunately I haven’t clicked the before and after pic, but I can feel I am lighter on the feet and the love handles have reduced.
    *The walks will continue but I might not quantify or post them anywhere.
    *This challenge was not to lose weight in particular, it was meant to be self love, giving time to me myself, pushing myself to do it(as simple as it might sound, still), to feel good that I accomplished something every day, small little achievements.
    *The lockdown, just office-home and the routines can get really frustrating and feel like a loop, so this was kind of meant to break the loop and look forward to achieve something every single day.

Love and Melancholy

Damn, there it is yet again, the lump in the throat, that ache in the centre of the chest, a pain in the head so excruciating , I think it might eventually kill me. But then, I can’t show it, I am not supposed to show it, because I would be questioned why?

The idea of rejection or rejection , being ignored, not responded for, is aching.

I think my love can’t be handled, it’s too overwhelming for anybody for that matter. I have never met someone who could take in all I am able to give, because when I give, i give more than the other person would expect, wholeheartedly, it’s always moreish, the givers giving doesn’t get it’s fulfilment when it is not received in its wholeness, when there is no receiver or when the receiver falls short.

I think I would have to live with this forever, I just have to make peace with this fact. But, but, this pain is unbearable, the silence is killing, the imbalance just right on the face. This anxiety, nervousness, pain, I don’t know what to do with it, I dont know how to turn it around or cope with it. I just do not have an answer.

I also think it’s all on me, expecting a lot (not a lot though) , being selfish, wanting all of the person, but then I am just human.

Love and melancholy, i think goes hand in hand, there can be no love without pain. Love, is never normal, its a paradox, it can either be too joyful or too painful.

#love #platoniclove #romanticlove #melancholy #loveisaparadox #phobiaofrejection #phobiaofbeingignored #itsallinthehead #joy #pain #anxiety #narcissistic #loveandmelancholy #fidgety #restless #rantingsofanotsobeautifulmind #theartofgivingandreceiving #obsession #obsessed #madlove


Hey you, yes you the one who has taken time to read this, are you in love!? Coz you would stop here if you were not. But if you are in love, welcome!!

Being in love is the best thing ever. Do you feel all mushy mushy, highly emotional and sentimental, strong and weak, confident and powerful, too many emotions at the same instant!? Then you are so in love. And you ought to be, this feeling of love can’t be evoked that easily, it’s not even a material thing you see, it’s when you are fragile and vulnerable and just you, the real, raw, unedited version of yourself, you get to welcome it and feel it and be in the bliss and the contentment of it.

To those who are afraid to fall in love, no, pls don’t be.

Isnt it a wonderful feeling to love and be loved and to know that you love the other person more than you love yourself, more than you actually think you love them.That intense, passionate, immense feeling for another person gives one bouts of happy hormones and such adrenaline rush (yes, yes, the oxytocin and dopamine too :p).

Love unconditionally, without expectations and limitations.

Fall in love, be and stay in it!! That’s the best thing you can do to yourself and the other person. Be giving, be receptable of all that could be given and received. What’s love without a lil craziness, be the best version of you, love is such a strong emotion that it would make you a better person, that which would push you go do things you would never do or even think about doing.

Love- the beautifier of souls and beings.

P.S- yes, there is an overdose of both the usage of the word ‘love” and of it too !! But then that’s me, overdoer of sorts, I over love!!

And the pics are from the episode “Hang the DJ” of Black mirror Season 4, which is my fav episode and the other being from “Mr. Nobody” , one of my fav movies.

#love #rantingsofanotsobeautifulmind #platoniclove #romanticlove #platonicvsromanticlove #forbiddenlove #loveandletlove

Asha Jaoar Majhe- Labour of Love


sha Jaoar Majhe – Labour of Love

Recommended by two cinephile friends back to back. It’s a Bengali drama, cheered me up coz it was a silent movie and no subs were required. Now to the details.

It’s breathtakingly and an achingly beautiful movie, poetry in motion. The time seems to slow down with every minute into the movie, Jaise waqt tham jaaye.

It’s a beautiful portrayal of a couple, where the wife works in a day shift and the husband at night. It just shows us the round the clock, sometimes boring, never ending loop of routines of their everyday life with such drama.

Words wudnt suffice to describe it anyway. I particularly enjoyed how aesthetically and naturally everything’s portrayed, the groceries and the cooking sequence, the sunset, that wet footmark and the fading of it, and many more.

The whole drama culminates into them meeting for a very few min, and that portrayal of being and staying together and just being around the person you love makes up for the every minute they spend away from one another. Those few min makes them work like a well oiled machine , like clockwork.
Their time is shown as fantasy, might be because it’s so powerful and dramatic that it’s like out of the world imaginary sequence.
PS- people with less patience to drama and detailing, and those who are eager for more too quick can avoid it. It is slow but it has to be savoured for what it is!! #ashajaoarmajhe #drama #bengalidrama #poetryinmotion #labouroflove

Emotional attachment

Dating these days, getting laid, one night stands are so easier. There is no emotional attachment involved. People do say they have a connect but I doubt if it’s more than something physical only.

The thought process is usually like, why have an emotional connect, it’s such a burden and that the physical connect is anyway there sans the emotional one. It’s been like fuck and forget, damn, I don’t know how these can be done. ( Not being judgemental here).

Just trying to say, emotions that strong have to be celebrated. It’s easier sans it for some I presume, but do we seek easy and mediocre when we can choose a little difficult yet soul satisfying. Why settle for less when we can have so much more?

Celebrate the emotional people in your life, cherish them, that rare emotional connect you have with them, that rare thing that doesn’t happen every other day, do not settle for less. Choose quality over quantity, stop playing the number game. People (some) take proud in the numbers, they wouldn’t even know or remember the names of the person’s they have got cosy with. It pains me to see that kinda emotional disconnect!!

Stop having the phobia of emotions. Emotions is what makes us more human. How can one unlove anyway!?

#rantingsofanotsobeautifulmind #rant #intimacy #physicalconnect #emotionalconnect #dating #onenightstands #strongemotions #celebratingemotions #love #emotionalattachment #thebiggerpicture

My take on the TV series “Delhi Crime”

“Delhi Crime”- An Indian series not to be missed.

We have all known about the appalling and heinous Nirbhayas case, through media, both print and visual. This series talks about the nitty gritties of the case, the painstaking look out for the 6 suspects, the emotional and physical turmoils that not only the victims but everyone who worked on the case had to go through, the political hindrances, the blame games, the hardships of being a police whether it be of any level, the way the work affects the relationships with the family, with oneself.

We have some exhilarating performances, it could not have been casted any better. Can’t stop but wonder about how demystifying it is interms of what was portrayed in the media.

And by the way, I binge watched it losing out on my sleep because it was that gripping and then I was looking for justice to be served in the series too.

Look out people, don’t lose out on a gem. A must watch it is.

Wild wild country


As the name itself suggests, it’s wild. You are in for surprises, so brace yourselves. Speaks of various things, power, trust, betrayal, respect, selfishness, promise, hatred, anger, distrust, and of course all the Shree Rajaneesh aka Osho is famous for, philosophy, happiness, laughter, sex.

I particularly loved the different phases (and faces 😉 ) and the dialogues (she is badass and witty and a moophat-thats what makes her, her) of ma Anand Sheela. One could love her and then hate her and then again love her at different times of the documentary) and then Niren, the lawyer of Osho and a sannyasin himself. His grit and determination and that love towards his Bhagwan, he teared up several times in the documentary and one could see his feelings for Osho the way he spoke about him.

Building of a city of 80000 acres Rajaneeshpuram from scratch, building a commune, getting the street people in it, eventually drugging them to control them, attempt to murders, Oshos silence of almost 4 years, him, Sheela and several others getting arrested, their jail times, etc surprised me, there were several bizarre turn of events that took place.

If you are a sucker for history of the true events that occurred, wild wild country is no less than a thrilling thriller.
#osho #rajneeshpuram #rajneesh #maanandsheela

Once again

#onceagain is an off beat love story between an actor Amar, played by Neeraj Kabi, who is on the verge of divorce and has a teenage daughter and a widow, Tara, played by Shefali Shah, who is also a chef who runs a restaurant and has two adult children.

An accidental telephone conversations and they eventually fall for one another. And then the eventual meets and the things that follow makes the movie.

It’s refreshing, Shefali Shah charms us with her portrayal of Tara, her eyes speak, both the protagonists are torn between their personal lives and the social stigma, about what would people say, what would the children say or accept their relationship.

The romance in the air is visible yet not, the small movements, the dialogues and the silence too are so apt.
The movie is about love, love in all forms, and the dilemma that surrounds it, also about loneliness, companionship, being loved, being thought about.

In simple words, loved it.

#love #companionship #loneliness #dilemma #socialstigma #relationshipsthatcantbenamed #purelove

Breaking the waves-my take on it


Another gem from Lars Von trier. This is a movie about Love, Mental health, Obsession, Religion and much more.

The story is told in in 7 chapters and an epilogue depicting the life after Bess (Emily Watson) marries Jan, her love.

Bess- Is a small town girl, who believes in God too much and does chores at the church because she thinks that’s a good way to show her trust towards God. She is innocent as a child, has a history of mental illness, depression and bouts of anxiety due to her brothers untimely death, has a widowed sister, do-do, who is a nurse at the local hospital who loves Bess very much, and has a family who is bound to the rules of the local church. The church doesn’t allow the women to speak their opinions or POVs nor do they allow them to attend the funerals.

Jan- Is an outsider, works at a distant oil rig. Is so much fun to be with, has typical cool friends.

The story starts with Bess and Jan getting married. The aftermath of the wedding depicts their closeness, their love, the way they are obsessed with one another and can’t get enough of each other.

But then Jan has to go back to his work, and the goodbye is too hard especially for Bess. The life alone starts for both Bess and Jan. Jan sometimes calls Bess and they talk like all lovers do.

Bess wishes to God that Jan be back home soon. The way she mimics both God and herself is praise worthy, her voice, expressions, emotions are so distinct when she mimics.

And as if her wish should come true, Jan has an accident on his neck at the rig and is paralysed from the neck down and is bought home.

Jan is overwhelmed by Bess’s love for him, where she takes care of him and is always with him. Jan feels guilty about not even being able to make love to her and asks her to get a lover , sleep with him and then come back and tell him all about it, which she immediately and obviously denies.

But Jan tells her that that would make him happy and Kindle his want to live and not die. She decides to give it a shot though unwillingly.

Then there are several instances of sexual encounters, with an old man, with a rough guy at the bar, with two other men on a ship, where she despices the act but still does it for the sake of Jan and his life.

The last encounter goes rogue and she is hospitalised where she dies eventually and the irony is Jan surprisingly lives to see another day and many more days that follow.

Jan and his friends give Bess a proper funeral which the church wouldn’t have and the last thing we see is there are chimes and bells sounding from afar. (Bess always wanted bells on the church)

This is my fourth Lars Von Trier film, the others being #Melancholia #Dogville #Antichrist which are absolute gems too. Wanting to watch more of his work now.

#love #mentalhealth #obsession #fantacies #faith #sacrifice #wishes #life



Its fiction for us. We have seen war in the movies, we have read about them, we dont live it each day everyday. But for few, war is where their home is!! We would definitely not be able to feel what they feel, because we simply are not there.

Wars, bombings, deaths, losses, its hard…

Cant there be peace?? world love, world peace?? is it so hard just to be human, without the selfishness and hatred n stuff?? All I can do is crib… What could be done to make the world a better place to live in?? Really lost.

#ranting #peace #lettingitallout